Someone’s written a song about our train service. It’s entitled “A Network Betrayal”, and it’s from a popular beat combo from Mossley going by the name of Cabbage.
https://ahcabbage.bandcamp.com/
They’re not very complimentary about dear old Northern Rail.
[Verse 1]
Charles Horton’s pay has doubled to half a million
Despite ongoing travel chaos, strikes, cancellations and delays
David McDermott suffered catastrophic injuries, while repairing an overhead light
But if his screams are heard by no one, did it really happen?[Verse 2]
“Well, well welcome to those who joined us in Stalybridge today
Please have all tickets and travel documents ready for inspection”
“Bow down to my presence, and just so you know
I’ve got a CCTV camera strapped to my chest
And I’m not afraid to use it”[Verse 3]
“For the next thirty minutes, I withhold the smallest amount of minute power known to man
But do not make me prove it”
“You’ve had an opportunity to use your railcard before our boarding boy
And you blew it”[Verse 4]
It’s a good job the views across the Pennines will be all charming
But for twenty quid, I’d expect nothing less
Err, not that’s a service you provide
Head-resting against the vibrating windows [?]
And a sense of emotion, which in due fairness, is only offered by the train[Chorus]
A network betrayal
A nation failed
Network betrayal[Verse 4]
But it’s utter crime that these private companies have their greasy paws on our historic railways
Northern Rail appeal to the more seasoned, bottom set maths, jobsworth
Not to tail them all under the same brush
Heaven forbid[Verse 5]
Born in the changes and not up for the same cultural perks as say a musical festival does
Therefore, why should we be expected to pile our excrement upon someone else’s in the same manner
And give as the power grows smaller[Verse 6]
“If you’ve noticed anything suspicious, then please report it to a member of this train crew”
It is bizarre to know how the tannoy pattern varies depending wholly on how much the conductor enjoys the sound of their own voice
Clearly a highlight for the blissfully unaware [?]
Who loves to think he is providing much needed local knowledge and humour
I don’t have time to be hanging around Huddersfield station’s lovely little café
I’m on this train because I’ve got actual places to be[Chorus] x2
A network betrayal
A nation failed
Network betrayal